Humble pie. I was wondering when I was going to be served a piece. Well the whole fucking pie in its entirety was shoved down my throat on the fourth of February. This was the fateful day I had my 'slip and fall'; resulting in a webber b fracture of my fibula. Since then I've learned what's it's like to fall under the category of 'disabled'.
I opted for the surgery which has given me the power to set off metal detectors. I can't wait; it's something I've always wanted. Really... I will add that my stay in the hospital allowed me to experience some heavy duty pain killers. While having the bone set in the ER (which was the most intense pain I have ever felt in my entire being) the nurse was kind enough to continuously pump dilauded into my IV. I've become accustomed to the pain killer lifestyle; I'm still on a regular diet of oxycodone and Diet Coke to manage the pain.
The recovery process has so far been long and arduous. I wouldn't rank breaking one's leg high on my list of things to do before you die.
I was fortunate enough to acquire a device with the trademark name of 'RollerAid'. It's a self-powered scooter that ranks high above crutches. It hauls some serious ass when on linoleum flooring. My popularity has soared in public places as curious individuals stare and ask questions.
Recently, while on the phone with my mother, she asked me if my sense of humor escaped with the marrow upon bone breakage. It must have. The darker side of this injury has also caused me to tire easily, be sharp with my tounge, and want take those who use the handicap stall at my workplace to the dugout for a swift kick in the ass. Not failing to mention that my left leg has atrophied to that of a chicken's.
On a final note, although there are a multitude of negatives associated with my condition, I have found happiness in the craft of crochet and the six seasons of the Sopranos. These two items have been holding my sanity from tumbling over the cliff into going postal. I guess my dreams of trying out for the roller derby league here in Madison will be postponed for another year...
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